Abilities

We went to the pediatrician yesterday for Tommy's one month check up and everything was very good. He's 11lbs 4oz, which are two numbers that I like a lot. His weight is in the 85th percentile and his length and head size are in the 75th percentile and I know what you're thinking because I'm thinking it too.

LINEBACKER

But until I can get him in the backyard for drills in full pads, we're taking it one step at a time.

Here is a list of the things he can voluntarily do:
lie still

Here is a list of things he does without a clue that he's doing them:
breathes 1000 times in a minute
breathes 9 times in a minute
surprise attacks with puke
produces boogers the size and color of almonds
releases 5 seconds worth of butt flapping gas
sleeps like a rock
wakes like a volcano
WRECKS diapers--sometimes before you've even had a chance to fasten it
melts hearts

Here is a list of things he cannot do, but that I am fully confident he'll be able to do before long:
use the riding lawn mower
understand the courtesy flush
assist with cleaning in tiny crevices
distract people while I pilfer small trinkets
recognize the godawfulness of the Twilight saga
play the blues guitar
thoughtfully discuss Hemingway
magic tricks
hotwire a car
tame a fox


He's a sweet boy and we love him very much. He's very lucky to have such caring aunts and uncles and 4 grandparents that I'm keeping a very close eye on as the threat of kidnapping grows each time we visit.




Oh yeah, we had a photographer come to the house for his newborn pictures. She took a bunch, but I love this one in particular. He didn't protest in the slightest. He must love Christmas as much as I do.